This week has come full circle. As I look back at my emotions, experiences, and journal entries, I see a full week of exploration within myself, which is what I want. Of course, the week is a short cycle in a long journey, so nothing is resolved or perfected, if it ever will be anyway.
At the beginning of the week I was praying for a challenge. The set-up of my life right now is to be pushed to the edge of our societal norms so that we can grow in God's way, not the world's way. But I still didn't feel truly challenged yet. On one hand, following Jesus should be difficult because of the lifetime of bad habits that I've formed and continue to form. On the other hand, it's a path of simplicity and joy and pure life when I let myself fully become part of it.
The passage from Jeremiah and the quote about consciousness (quoted in my last post) provided a frame for the challenge with which God answered my prayer. Jeremiah reminded me that I will be challenged if I feel the pain of the world separated from God. The reminder about consciousness affirmed that I can choose how much of the pain I feel. I have a choice every time I'm deciding between the paying the price for regular or fair-trade coffee; when I say hello to or avert my eyes from the homeless man half-conscious on the sidewalk in front of my house; when I run around at work or stop for a moment in my busy-ness to tell a young girl that she did a good job in ballet class today; when I sleep-in or get up early to bike or jog in the early morning beauty of almost-autumn.
It is urgent to love. Freely and fully. It is urgent to apply the balm of Gilead against the wound of the world. Don Miller made famous the metaphor of his pastor, Rick McKinley, that we must press against the gaping wound of the world in any attempt to ease the gushing blood and the huge pain. But it is also a dichotomy that it is urgent to love. Urgency usually precludes doing the task quickly and efficiently. Love is not quick and efficient. Love keeps you up late at night to talk through a problem with a friend. Love is countless bowls of soup served to the hungry without knowing that any lives will ever be changed. To love usually takes more time than to not love. And when I'm breaking all my habits of unloving, it takes even more time because I must be even more deliberate and consciencious.
As with most challenges, I'm forced to see my faults. It wouldn't be a challenge if it didn't challenge me, right? My friend Avery preached a sermon this week and there was one thought that particularly stuck out to me. There are two ways to sweep out a house: sweep out all the dust and dirt, or sweep it under the couch and into the corner, so it's out of sight, but still present. Actually, even when we sweep out all the dust and dirt there is inevitably some left. Then, when we least expect it, we stumble upon that pile of dirt that we thought we already swept away. It's frustrating to see the faults that I thought I had already dealt with come back. Dirt that I thought was gone resurfaces and then I'm plagued with fresh and past guilt. But this is the ultimate time for grace to work and humble me.
Just last night we went to the Potter's House for open mic night. I could not have hand-picked a more beautiful collection of people! The people sharing their music, poetry, stories, and thoughts there were so much more glorious than at places where people are trying to be beautiful. Once again I was caught in wonder at the beauty of God's way. The wonder is not in the fact that we are all beautiful despite the wound, but we are beautiful because we are working through the wound, we are facing the pain with joy and life and love. These people do not shy away from the pain, but the pain does not define them. Their art and just simply their lives are an imperfect yet determined facing of the hurt, but with an over-arching power that is winning in ways big and small every day. I hope that, in my best moments, I am beautiful like that too.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Impact Quotes of the Week
At some point in our lives, we decide just how conscious we wish to be. We establish a threshold of awareness. We choose how stark a truth we are willing to admit into consciousness, how readily we will examine contradictions in our lives and beliefs, how deeply we wish to penetrate. Our brains can censor what we see and hear, we an filter reality to suit our level of courage. At every crossroads we make the choice again for greater or lesser awareness.
- Marilyn Ferguson
(printed in a Ministry of Money newletter, which is a ministry of CoS)
You who are my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me.
Listen to the cry of my people from a land far away:
"Is the Lord not in Zion? Is her King no longer there?"
"Why have they aroused my anger with their images, with their worthless foreign idols?"
"The harvest is past, the summer has ended, and we are not saved."
Since my people are crushed, I am crushed; I mourn, and horror grips me.
Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there?
Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people?
Oh that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears!
I would weep day and night for the slain of my people.
- Jeremiah 8:18-9:1
(lectionary OT reading for this week)
To fight aloud, is very brave-
but gallenter, I know
Who charge within the bosom
The Calvary of Woe-
Who win, and nations do not see-
Who fall--and none observe-
Whose dying eyes, no Country
Regards with patriot love-
We trust, in plumed procession
For such, the Angels go-
Rank after Rank, with even feet-
And Uniforms of Snow.
- Emily Dickinson
- Marilyn Ferguson
(printed in a Ministry of Money newletter, which is a ministry of CoS)
You who are my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me.
Listen to the cry of my people from a land far away:
"Is the Lord not in Zion? Is her King no longer there?"
"Why have they aroused my anger with their images, with their worthless foreign idols?"
"The harvest is past, the summer has ended, and we are not saved."
Since my people are crushed, I am crushed; I mourn, and horror grips me.
Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there?
Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people?
Oh that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears!
I would weep day and night for the slain of my people.
- Jeremiah 8:18-9:1
(lectionary OT reading for this week)
To fight aloud, is very brave-
but gallenter, I know
Who charge within the bosom
The Calvary of Woe-
Who win, and nations do not see-
Who fall--and none observe-
Whose dying eyes, no Country
Regards with patriot love-
We trust, in plumed procession
For such, the Angels go-
Rank after Rank, with even feet-
And Uniforms of Snow.
- Emily Dickinson
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Retreat
Life is getting busier around here. Evenings are getting gobbled up: starting this coming week, Tuesday night is Servant Leadership School dinner and class, Thursday is community night with the house, and Sunday night is a SLS class and sharing time in the house.
About the middle of the week, I started praying for a friend outside the house. I thoroughly enjoy all my housemates. This living situation couldn't be better if I had planned it. I'm completely grateful. I also feel the need to get to know some other people. So I'm just asking God to open my eyes to a friend. And also a mentor.
This is where Retreat comes in.
Dixcy and the 8th Day faith community of CoS [see previous post about CoS] invited us to go on their annual retreat. Even though, and maybe because, all my housemates were busy, I jumped on the offer. Let me preface by saying that the only time I ever worshipped with 8th Day it was children's Sunday and the sermon involved a lot of child interjections about dreams of fairies. Obviously that could make me a little wary about spending a whole day by myself with these people. But CoS is full of interesting people and Dixcy draws me as a possible mentor figure. And it was a great time for me.
I really hit it off with Sarah who is a graduate student in social work at Catholic U. And I got to know Nathan who is in the Lutheran Volunteer Corps. Spending time with Dixcy was good. I'm still praying about asking her to be my mentor or disciple me or whatever you want to call it. I don't want to rush into an important decision, but I do want to spend more time with her.
The environmental focus of the retreat was uplifting. The nature is beautiful and the people are genuine about their care of the land and how they can be eco-conscious in their homes and lives. We walked in the woods and toured eco-friendly houses and examined our carbon footprints. To top it off there was a cook-out and square dancing.
I still love living here - I wonder when that is gonna wear off? DC is an amazing city because so much culture and power is packed so close to parks and farms. I want to experience and appreciate all these things - city and nature - this year.
If you're so inclined, please pray for a friend and a mentor for me.
PS - I'm trying to change to only using one email address, so I'll be sending you emails from sarahlynncampbell@mac.com and you can reach me there as well. Thanks!
About the middle of the week, I started praying for a friend outside the house. I thoroughly enjoy all my housemates. This living situation couldn't be better if I had planned it. I'm completely grateful. I also feel the need to get to know some other people. So I'm just asking God to open my eyes to a friend. And also a mentor.
This is where Retreat comes in.
Dixcy and the 8th Day faith community of CoS [see previous post about CoS] invited us to go on their annual retreat. Even though, and maybe because, all my housemates were busy, I jumped on the offer. Let me preface by saying that the only time I ever worshipped with 8th Day it was children's Sunday and the sermon involved a lot of child interjections about dreams of fairies. Obviously that could make me a little wary about spending a whole day by myself with these people. But CoS is full of interesting people and Dixcy draws me as a possible mentor figure. And it was a great time for me.
I really hit it off with Sarah who is a graduate student in social work at Catholic U. And I got to know Nathan who is in the Lutheran Volunteer Corps. Spending time with Dixcy was good. I'm still praying about asking her to be my mentor or disciple me or whatever you want to call it. I don't want to rush into an important decision, but I do want to spend more time with her.
The environmental focus of the retreat was uplifting. The nature is beautiful and the people are genuine about their care of the land and how they can be eco-conscious in their homes and lives. We walked in the woods and toured eco-friendly houses and examined our carbon footprints. To top it off there was a cook-out and square dancing.
I still love living here - I wonder when that is gonna wear off? DC is an amazing city because so much culture and power is packed so close to parks and farms. I want to experience and appreciate all these things - city and nature - this year.
If you're so inclined, please pray for a friend and a mentor for me.
PS - I'm trying to change to only using one email address, so I'll be sending you emails from sarahlynncampbell@mac.com and you can reach me there as well. Thanks!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Life in DC
This post is just a quick update of what I've been doing over the past couple weeks - starting work and getting to know the city.
I jumped into work at Sitar Arts Center and got swept up in the current of registration and semester prep that was flooding all the staff. My co-workers admitted that this is the busiest and craziest time of year. On one hand, they really needed my help. On the other hand, I got to work right away without very much orientation or direction. All hands on deck, pretty much. Actually I enjoy the thrill of it and the craziness actually helped me to get to know my co-workers fairly quickly and feel comfortable around the office. Bonus: we have staff yoga for an hour on Wednesday mornings!
The Center provides everything from parent/baby music classes to afterschool classes to adult classes in music, visual art, drama, dance, and creative writing. Music classes include private lessons in a variety of instruments and music theory tutoring. All the teachers are volunteers - it's amazing! I will be helping with a children's studio art class and tutoring music theory in addition to my administrative duties. The staff is dedicated as well as very fun and creative. We had a break to do a relay race around the halls on our rolling office chairs - so silly!
This past week we had our first community curriculum time with Dawn, our program director. We also tried our hand at our first intentional community night. We're dedicating Tuesday afternoon times to Dawn's sessions and Thursday evenings are for household nuts-n-bolts and fun time for the whole group. So far we've been spending a lot of time together, but as people get busier, these times will be crucial for us as a community. Also, since our community night is Thursday, the TV show The Office will be predominantly featured as our comedy of choice. Good thing we all like it :)
Other happenings include:
- Mom and Dad taking us out for Ethiopian food over Labor Day weekend (yum!)
- free concerts all the time, including Ben Kweller and live jazz
- Adams Morgan Day - a huge festival in our neighborhood
- Nationals vs. Braves with the excitement of a tied-score with bases loaded bottom of the 9th
- shopping for groceries at a local co-op and considering membership for the house (how city and how hippie at the same time - I love it!)
- my first attendance of a large protest/rally to end the war in Iraq and promote peace (very interesting experience)
- Drea visiting for the day (so good!)
- celebrating Central American Independence Day with Isa (our housemate from El Salvador) at the Marx Cafe (for the irony of course)
This has been quite a full update. Maybe I can be more creative and contemplative when I have less newsy updates. Love, prayers, grace, and peace to all of you.
By the way, here's my address in case you'd like to send some old-fashioned and highly-appreciated communication:
Sarah Campbell
3321 16th St. NW
Washington, DC 20010
I jumped into work at Sitar Arts Center and got swept up in the current of registration and semester prep that was flooding all the staff. My co-workers admitted that this is the busiest and craziest time of year. On one hand, they really needed my help. On the other hand, I got to work right away without very much orientation or direction. All hands on deck, pretty much. Actually I enjoy the thrill of it and the craziness actually helped me to get to know my co-workers fairly quickly and feel comfortable around the office. Bonus: we have staff yoga for an hour on Wednesday mornings!
The Center provides everything from parent/baby music classes to afterschool classes to adult classes in music, visual art, drama, dance, and creative writing. Music classes include private lessons in a variety of instruments and music theory tutoring. All the teachers are volunteers - it's amazing! I will be helping with a children's studio art class and tutoring music theory in addition to my administrative duties. The staff is dedicated as well as very fun and creative. We had a break to do a relay race around the halls on our rolling office chairs - so silly!
This past week we had our first community curriculum time with Dawn, our program director. We also tried our hand at our first intentional community night. We're dedicating Tuesday afternoon times to Dawn's sessions and Thursday evenings are for household nuts-n-bolts and fun time for the whole group. So far we've been spending a lot of time together, but as people get busier, these times will be crucial for us as a community. Also, since our community night is Thursday, the TV show The Office will be predominantly featured as our comedy of choice. Good thing we all like it :)
Other happenings include:
- Mom and Dad taking us out for Ethiopian food over Labor Day weekend (yum!)
- free concerts all the time, including Ben Kweller and live jazz
- Adams Morgan Day - a huge festival in our neighborhood
- Nationals vs. Braves with the excitement of a tied-score with bases loaded bottom of the 9th
- shopping for groceries at a local co-op and considering membership for the house (how city and how hippie at the same time - I love it!)
- my first attendance of a large protest/rally to end the war in Iraq and promote peace (very interesting experience)
- Drea visiting for the day (so good!)
- celebrating Central American Independence Day with Isa (our housemate from El Salvador) at the Marx Cafe (for the irony of course)
This has been quite a full update. Maybe I can be more creative and contemplative when I have less newsy updates. Love, prayers, grace, and peace to all of you.
By the way, here's my address in case you'd like to send some old-fashioned and highly-appreciated communication:
Sarah Campbell
3321 16th St. NW
Washington, DC 20010
Church of the Saviour History and Tradition
The Church of the Saviour is a very different community than the traditional structure of church. In an effort to explain it better to those of you who can't be here to experience it, the following is copied from a bulletin at one of their worship community meetings.
"The Church of the Saviour was founded as an ecumenical Christian church in 1947. Since that time, the structures of our life together have changed shape several time following the leading of God's Spirit. In the period from 1976 to 1995, a number of sister communities formed under the umbrella of The Church of the Saviour. Since October of 1995, we have let go of that umbrella and each of the nince churches existing at that time is now a legally separate entity. Thos who were members in the early 1995 hold a dual membership in one the nine sister communities and in the remaining entity of The Church of the Saviour. New faith communities have also emerged in addition to the nine, such as The Church of the Servant Jesus, which meets during this time.
The basic principles from The Church of the Saviour experience are lived out in churches formed from these roots. These include serious commitment to following Jesus; a faithful,disciplined life of prayer and scripture study; active, hands-on involvement addressing some area of need in our broken world in response to God's call; and faithfulness to the covenant of one's particular small faith community."
Gordon Cosby founded the church after he returned from WWII envisioning a church that truly worked as the hands of Jesus to alleviate pain and injustice in the world. Something like 40 ministries have arisen from The Church of the Saviour communities. The communities are intentionally small - around 30 members - to allow for deeper relationships and hands-on ministry. One of the main goals of the church is to help each person find their calling in God's Kingdom. That's how so many ministries have started, b/c the church really encourages following God's call in new directions. Worship is held in houses-turned-chapels, a coffeeshop called the Potter's House, a homeless shelter, and various other locations. There's really no pretense and everyone is extremely welcoming. It's just real people worshipping and living their lives earnestly trying to follow Christ.
I want to become a consistent attendee of one of these communities, but I'm still trying to decide which one. I've been to several services, but this morning I went to New Community and it really clicked. Hopefully I'll find a home there. Please pray that I'll be led to the right place.
"The Church of the Saviour was founded as an ecumenical Christian church in 1947. Since that time, the structures of our life together have changed shape several time following the leading of God's Spirit. In the period from 1976 to 1995, a number of sister communities formed under the umbrella of The Church of the Saviour. Since October of 1995, we have let go of that umbrella and each of the nince churches existing at that time is now a legally separate entity. Thos who were members in the early 1995 hold a dual membership in one the nine sister communities and in the remaining entity of The Church of the Saviour. New faith communities have also emerged in addition to the nine, such as The Church of the Servant Jesus, which meets during this time.
The basic principles from The Church of the Saviour experience are lived out in churches formed from these roots. These include serious commitment to following Jesus; a faithful,disciplined life of prayer and scripture study; active, hands-on involvement addressing some area of need in our broken world in response to God's call; and faithfulness to the covenant of one's particular small faith community."
Gordon Cosby founded the church after he returned from WWII envisioning a church that truly worked as the hands of Jesus to alleviate pain and injustice in the world. Something like 40 ministries have arisen from The Church of the Saviour communities. The communities are intentionally small - around 30 members - to allow for deeper relationships and hands-on ministry. One of the main goals of the church is to help each person find their calling in God's Kingdom. That's how so many ministries have started, b/c the church really encourages following God's call in new directions. Worship is held in houses-turned-chapels, a coffeeshop called the Potter's House, a homeless shelter, and various other locations. There's really no pretense and everyone is extremely welcoming. It's just real people worshipping and living their lives earnestly trying to follow Christ.
I want to become a consistent attendee of one of these communities, but I'm still trying to decide which one. I've been to several services, but this morning I went to New Community and it really clicked. Hopefully I'll find a home there. Please pray that I'll be led to the right place.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Lessons in Community Living
Last Saturday night around 10:30pm I was riding the Metro from dinner with my parents to my neighborhood. It wasn't too late and there were plenty of people out, so I was sure I could take care of myself. On the first train of my ride a slightly drunk middle-aged man sat down next to me and started talking to me, eventually asking if I had a boyfriend and asking questions about where I live and such. Obviously I tried to cut off the conversation by using short, curt answers, but he didn't seem to notice. Not seeing a way out of the situation while staying on the train, I got off at the next stop in order to wait for the next train. I still felt like I didn't have anything to worry about, but it reminded me of things that can happen to a girl alone in the city. While waiting at the station, I called one of my housemates, Clay, and asked him to come meet me at the metro stop in our neighborhood to walk me home. I felt, and still feel, somewhat silly about doing that, but I guess I have to face the facts. Clay was very gracious as a I apologized while we walked home. I said that I'm so used to being independent that it's hard for me to come to terms with not knowing if it's safe to walk home in my new neighborhood. And then his simple comment meant so much to me, especially in terms of the larger picture: "But that's ok, because all this stuff is about learning to be interdependent." And we are learning. Together.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
New Home and New Homies
I arrived in DC in the morning on Sunday August 27 on a red-eye flight from California. That day my housemates and I moved in and met for the first time. We got to know each other pretty quickly though as we spend the entire next week together in orientation. We live in a large 1920ish built house on a main street in the Mount Pleasant neighborhood of DC. The 5 girls each have their own rooms and the 2 guys share the master bedroom.
The most striking thing to me is the welcome that we've received from members of Church of the Savior (our supporting church). A diverse group of people have welcomed us with open arms and sincere hearts to really get to know us and build relationships. And they're pretty radical in how they are trying to live out this Christianity stuff. I'll probably explain more about Church of the Savior in a later post.
Our time during orientation included sessions on the inner journery, social justice, anti-racism, and community living. We were challenged among ourselves with deep discussions and everyone who we met also began genuine conversations. We also visited the 7 organization in which we will be working, which also started discussions about the social issues of DC and justice in general. I realized very quickly that these are my kind of people when my second conversation with Avery (a black, middle-aged recoveries ministry pastor) began by him asking me what I thought about the phrase "mutually liberating relationships."
Now that I've had some time to think about it all - why I'm here and what I'm doing here - there's been one thought bouncing around in my head. The song "Christ, be the center of our lives" really resonates with me and I like to think of that phrase as a defining focus in my life. First of all, a key word is "our" rather than "my" because life is a communal thing. And to take that a step further, if Christ is the center of our lives and whatever I do to the least of these I so do unto Christ, then the least of these must also be the center of my life.
The most striking thing to me is the welcome that we've received from members of Church of the Savior (our supporting church). A diverse group of people have welcomed us with open arms and sincere hearts to really get to know us and build relationships. And they're pretty radical in how they are trying to live out this Christianity stuff. I'll probably explain more about Church of the Savior in a later post.
Our time during orientation included sessions on the inner journery, social justice, anti-racism, and community living. We were challenged among ourselves with deep discussions and everyone who we met also began genuine conversations. We also visited the 7 organization in which we will be working, which also started discussions about the social issues of DC and justice in general. I realized very quickly that these are my kind of people when my second conversation with Avery (a black, middle-aged recoveries ministry pastor) began by him asking me what I thought about the phrase "mutually liberating relationships."
Now that I've had some time to think about it all - why I'm here and what I'm doing here - there's been one thought bouncing around in my head. The song "Christ, be the center of our lives" really resonates with me and I like to think of that phrase as a defining focus in my life. First of all, a key word is "our" rather than "my" because life is a communal thing. And to take that a step further, if Christ is the center of our lives and whatever I do to the least of these I so do unto Christ, then the least of these must also be the center of my life.
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