(We had an Open House on Jan. 27 and I shared this reflection on my time so far here with Discipleship Year. I used some quotes and scripture from an earlier blog post, so you might find it familiar.)
When I first arrived at 3321 16th St NW, I could barely make out the words “Disciple House” on the front door and I had no idea what would be on the other side. The only thing I had that gave me a clue was just a vague feeling that I was in the right place. I’m always up for adventures, having just completed a cross-country road trip with my brother before flying to DC, so that wasn’t an issue. But for this adventure I didn’t have as clear a roadmap. See, I found out about the program and applied late in the game; it seemed like a whirlwind 2 weeks and I was signed-up and another whirlwind 2 months and I arrived. Even if I had more time to prepare or had done my interviews in person, I’m not sure that I would really have been prepared anyway.
So there I was, bringing whatever I had to bring to the situation, which included a recent college diploma, a variety of experiences in ministry, a wounded experience of past community living, an independent and adventurous spirit, natural anxiety, and a prayer that this would turn into a year of something valuable. And there was the situation of Discipleship Year bringing whatever it had in store, plus 6 other housemates, a program director, a whole church community, and 7 non-profit organizations bringing all the things that comprise their various personalities, visions, missions, plans, goals, brokenness and gifts to add to the mix.
I walked into the house and thought, “This is so different. How is this going to turn into ‘home’?” There was nothing wrong with the house; it just had the feeling in the air of a house not yet lived in, not yet familiar with its occupants. The walls were barren. The bedrooms were completely un-personalized by photos or knickknacks. I wasn’t yet used to the creak of that stair or the stickiness of that doorknob either. The house and I, we had to get to know each other.
Then Isa and Paige and Katy and Chris and Emily and Clay began arriving one by one and unpacking their belongings and personalities and lives into the house. (Bear with me now, I’m making a metaphor) A few days into our orientation week we started to really move in and began decorating the common areas of the house as best we could. With such large, white walls we needed to add something. The thing is, when you’re arriving with just a few bags and boxes of belongings, all you can do is make the best with what you have. Some of us had brought a few pieces of wall hanging and we found artwork left by previous residents. Of course all the furniture was donated or found second-hand. So we were determined to somehow take all the bits and pieces and make it into our home. As you can see, it’s as eclectic and different as we are. If I were personally decorating my own space with my own tastes and a small budget, it would probably look radically different. But I’ve lived into it enough - giving what is unique to me, and receiving what is unique to others - I’ve lived into it enough that it has become my home. If I had planned a community through my perspectives, experiences, and expectations, it too would probably be very different than our community now. I have also come to live into community life enough to let the hodge-podge and unexpected become the foundations and fibers for a vibrant life together.
How this house became our home is similar to how this group of 7 people became our community: by bringing all the things we carry with us, and offering them up for whatever good they are. We started defining our community in organic and structured ways… through laughter and conversations, through small projects and meals together, through awkwardness and unexpected breakthroughs of connection.
Life is what we bring to it. In this community we have decided to bring honesty and humor, seeking hearts and loving hands, creative vision and sheer willingness to not let go. And in all things God gives us grace for the things we are not yet able to bring by ourselves. In return, we reap laughter and vulnerability, growth and passion, the ability to give and the ability to receive.
Early in my time here I came across this quote by Marilyn Ferguson, “At some point in our lives, we decide just how conscious we wish to be. We establish a threshold of awareness. We choose how stark a truth we are willing to admit into consciousness, how readily we will examine contradictions in our lives and beliefs, how deeply we wish to penetrate. Our brains can censor what we see and hear, we can filter reality to suit our level of courage. At every crossroads we make the choice again for greater or lesser awareness.”
Every day here I see the fruit of willing consciousness in my life. Consciousness to embrace my gifts and faults and consciousness of the joy and pain of life around me. I hope that our level of courage is up to the challenge of a broken world. I feel deeply and personally the words of the prophet Jeremiah, “Since my people are crushed, I am crushed… Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why is there no healing for the wound of my people?” We try to have courage to face the injustices and oppressions caused by our personal lives and collective society. We strive also to remember that we can be a healing presence in the world by choosing awareness and choosing to live our lives through the transforming grace of God in ways that are honoring and inclusive of others and bring equality, peace, and joy.
So I pray for our community that we have open eyes, use candid words, give grace, seek truth, and live passionately our callings. We have brought what we can and we trust for the rest that we are living as one small section of God’s kingdom in the world. We bring our whole selves to this experience in the hopes that our faults will be our teachers, our gifts will be others’ blessings, and our iron will sharpen iron. This is who we are.
No comments:
Post a Comment